Forgive yourself is a myth for Christians, but pseudo-reality for the rest of mankind. This phrase is not a part of any Christian doctrine, but rather, is the world’s way of learning how to deal with personal failures without the healing that comes from God’s forgiveness. Christians have not been given any authority to forgive themselves. In fact, it is wrong for a Christian to attempt to forgive oneself since it usurps God’s complete authority to forgive us. The Scriptures say, clearly that we are bought with a price and that we do not belong to ourselves anymore.

1Cor 6:19,20 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 6:20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

The great blessing of receiving God’s forgiveness is the promise of not only forgiveness, but cleansing. If we are truly forgiven and cleansed by God, there is no need for anything else.  If we do need something else then God is not sufficient for all things in our life, and God-forbid that any follower of Christ would ever dare to say or think otherwise. Either God or self is on the throne of one’s heart, and the one that is on the throne is the one who has the right to forgive. If a Christian feels unforgivable or unclean or like something is missing, they need to judge themselves to see if they are in error in one of the following ways:

  1. Unconfessed sin to God, resulting in God withholding His forgiveness. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (KJV) I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah. Psalms 32:5
  2. Not forgiving others, resulting in God withholding His forgiveness. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matt 6:15 (KJV)
  3. Not seeking to be forgiven by others that we have offended. 23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift. Matt 5:23-24 (KJV) Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. James 5:16 (KJV) If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Romans 12:18 (KJV)
  4. Unbelief: Not believing God’s Word that He does forgive us if we confess our sins to Him. But without faith it is impossible to please him: Heb 11:6 (KJV) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (KJV)

Do a google on forgive yourself. Notice that the top search results that come back are from man-made institutions (counseling, medical, psychological, self-help), not biblical sources. Then as you scroll down the list, notice that the secondary, biblical sources refer to “forgiving yourself” in a negative context, not a positive, reinforcing one. When used in infrequent bible-based Christian circles, “forgive yourself” is usually used in the context of really understanding by faith that God forgives so we do not need to continue in unnecessary guilt. A deeper understanding of this “forgive yourself” thinking has roots in the heathen philosophy of self-love, which has its roots in ancient Greek philosophies.